While in Japan the wife rented the Twilight DVD and watched it. Then she bought the Japanese translation of the original novel and is reading it feverishly. And now she wants me to watch the movie with her when we get back to the U.S. What did I ever do to deserve this?! She must be making up for lost days from Junior High....

In Japanese, vampire is 「吸血鬼」 ('kyuuketsuki', literally "blood-sucking demon"). Out of irritation, I conceived a homonym for 'kyuuketsuki' by substituting 'butt' for 'blood', 「吸尻鬼」 (which would mean "butt-sucking demon"). When I wrote that down and showed it to Sachie while she was feverishly reading the Twilight book, it garnered an exasperated laugh. From there, the obvious extension is 「吸乳鬼」 ('kyuunyuuki').... The ultimate term I arrived at was 「狂尻鬼」 ('kyouketsuki'), which from the parallel to 'kyuuketsuki' would be "butt-crazy demon". Either that or "crazy-ass demon" works! That'd be sweet on a T-shirt, haha!